Saturday, May 8, 2010

Help Me Believe

What's wrong?
Nothing.
Actually, I don't know. I wish I knew and when I know I promise you will be the first to hear it.
I feel a heaviness in my chest that hasn't been there in a while.
It makes me want to run away from everyone and myself. Be alone to breathe and not think.
I feel as if I have made myself an enemy.
Why is it that people trust me more when I am fake? I have just recently become more selfish (Is that what I did wrong?) I have stopped putting up with things and pretending I don't mind that it upsets me.
Has it come to a point that I seem obviously selfish? Only willing to participate if I can gain from it?
I stopped talking to him because I was tired of the guilt but maybe I was exaggerating everything. Maybe guilt is just part of some relationships, maybe my self destruction with it is just part of how its supposed to be.

I want to be perfect.